Grandma Alyssa

Well I'm alive. You can all rest easy. I started at WIC, it's a supplemental nutrition program from women, infants, and children. I LOVE it. They should just hire me now and I'll just disregard the rest of my internship. That sounds great to me since the thought of my 10 week clinical rotation makes me want to jump off a bridge. I'm not blowing it out of proportion.

The title of this blog refers to my new lifestyle. All of us interns thought we'd try to hang out every weekend and relax. That hasn't happened even once. I'm SOOOO tired and climbing in bed by 9 (10 on a late night) to watch some Friends and asleep within an hour. On Saturday morning I actually woke up at 6:30am for NO reason. Thank goodness I slept until 8 or 830 the next two days. Sheeesh! Danny makes fun of me nightly :) I can't help it! I'm totally beat each day, the best part is I'm not getting paid! I actually am going more in debt for this. Sweet :)

Again in reference to the title, I turn 25 in two days. I struggle with this. Why, you ask? Well it's a quarter of a century and a whole new age bracket for starters. No more 18-24 for me! I'm in the 25-old category now!! :) Also, as a 16 year old kid imagining my life, I expected more out of my 25 year old self. I thought I'd at least be married. Maybe a kid or two. I don't know how I expected all of this to happen, as I've always wanted to go to college and have a career. Well, we know I could've been married (and that would've been a mistake), and now I have a wonderful boyfriend. But, there is a sort of saddness that I feel knowing I didn't live up to my childhood expectations, as unrealistic as they might have been. I know 25 is still young. I'm told I'll never really feel like I'm getting older, I'll feel the same on the inside. But something about this birthday is really making me realize that life really does keep moving whether you're ready or not. I'll be 26 next year....27....28..... etc. Time will keep moving. For some reason as a younger kid I didn't realize this. I thought I'd always be young, thin would just happen, and my body would just hold up. Well you always get older, you ALWAYS have to work hard at thin, in fact even harder as you get older, and my body will start sagging with the best of them soon enough.

I try to make the most of each moment and each experience. But I can't but feel a little mourning for the loss of my childhood. Because for once, I really true feel like I'm growing up and I'm an adult. I'm not sure when it happened. And I'm not sure if I like. But it's happened.